× Dismiss

Never Miss an Update.

Refugees Deeply is designed to help you understand the complex web of geopolitical, human rights, environmental, legal and other factors combining to make the refugee issue one of the most challenging of our lifetimes. Our editors and expert contributors are working around the clock to bring you greater clarity and comprehensive coverage.

Sign up to our newsletter to receive our weekly updates, special reports, and featured insights as we widen the lens on this critical – and quintessentially human – issue.

#5YearsWeFled: Difficult Choices (Part 2)

The series #5YearsWeFled is a collection of interviews with a Syrian lawyer Ayman Jalwan. It highlights the difficult choice that Syrians face – between dying in a war zone that the country has become after five years or conflict, or fleeing the land they love with no hopes of imminent return.

Written by Ayman Jalwan Published on Read time Approx. 5 minutes
Mideast syria 56f41fde5027d

Last year, Ayman Jalwan and his wife said goodbye to their families and joined the large waves of citizens leaving the country. Their first country of transition was Turkey. They then crossed the cold Mediterranean waters to enter Greece. Through smugglers in Eastern Europe, the couple reached Germany, which they had heard had been most generous to Syrian refugees. Over a series of accounts, Ayman Jalwan explains the decision to leave, the trials he and his wife encountered along the way, and the consequences of their decision.

This is their second entry:

The army of Bashar al-Assad arrested many people and surrounded Deir Ezzor, but I had already received permission to leave the city. I had a contact in the government who had given me official permission to go. But I was afraid because I was wanted for military service. The army could catch me at any of the checkpoints on the road. But I managed to arrive safely in Aleppo, where I stayed there for four to five years. At first it was peaceful. But then, the revolution arrived in Aleppo. The city started to split between those with Bashar al-Assad, and others against him. This was 2013.

After four or five years in Aleppo, I tried to leave to Turkey. But I was very worried. I was surrounded in this city. I couldn’t go outside of it, because if I traveled, maybe they will identify me at a checkpoint and I have to go to the army. As a Sunni, I would have no chance to survive in the army of Bashar al-Assad. They would send me right to the front line of a war I do not want to fight—a war against my friends, my brothers.

Another problem with leaving for Turkey was having to tell my mother. She was used to spending much of her time with me. She was afraid. I had a younger brother, a pharmacist who had studied in the Republic of Georgia. After he completed his studies, he discovered that he had cancer. He died about a year before the revolution. So imagine: My mother already lost one of her sons, and she is very afraid. She can’t imagine that she might lose me, too. She would say, “If you decide to leave, I may never see you again.” But many members of my family explained to her that she must let me leave the country because it is very dangerous to stay. Sooner or later they will catch him, they told her. And what kind of a life is it to stay here and always be running away from the people, from the government?

My work as a lawyer stopped. Of course, I could not go to the courts. The military police were there in their cars, performing searches on everyone. They take your ID card or papers, search you, and check who you are on the computer: “Oh you are wanted, come, you must serve in the military.” They started catching young people on the streets and sending them to first. This is not a normal way of life. This is now it has been.

But sooner or later I know they will catch me. So I have made the decision to leave Syria. I trust in God to help me. I have a friend who has a good relationship with the military police officers.

So I went to a checkpoint, and of course I paid to pass through. The officer there checked me, but I gave him money. This was on the road between Aleppo and Hama; I wanted to reach the lands of the Free Syrian Army (FSA), lands that are controlled by groups that are against Bashar al-Assad. I could not leave the country and go to Lebanon via the official checkpoints because my name was on a list.

If you want to get away from Bashar al-Assad, the FSA will usually help.

I was afraid I would have to cross the lands that are under the control of Daesh [ISIS]. As a lawyer, I also am wanted by Daesh. Why? Because of my job. Daesh thinks that if you work as a lawyer or philosopher or teacher or chemist, you don’t believe in God. You are the lawyer of the devil! To them, the law of God is the only law. The laws we study as lawyers are the laws devised by human beings, they say, not God. If Daesh catches anyone who studies law or is a lawyer, they have orders to kill them on the spot.

I feared crossing those areas. I was wanted by two sides, by Bashar al-Assad and Daesh.

So, of course, I burned nearly every paper that proved that I had studied law. I carefully hid my official school qualifications in our bags. But thank God, the places we [my wife and I] passed through were not under the control of Daesh. They were under the control of the FSA. Sometimes, we would meet groups from the Nusra Front. They did not do anything to us. They are very different from Daesh. They fight Daesh. They say this group, Nusra, belongs to al-Qaida, but it’s very different from Daesh. If they know that you are a lawyer, it is not a problem. There are many people in Syria from many groups that want to control the various areas or make trouble. We prefer to cross where the Nusra Front is in control. It is far better than Daesh.

If you meet someone from Daesh, you cannot speak with him. He will kill you—just kill you. With a person from the Nusra Front you can discuss your situation with him. You can convince him to let you pass. Someone from Nusra might say, “Why doesn’t your wife cover her head?” Then he might say, “Please cover your head, my sister. It’s not good not to, because God is …” and so on. Just that. But if someone from Daesh sees that your wife does not have her head covered, that is it.

With the FSA, no — it’s different. The FSA groups just want to fight Bashar al-Assad. So I prefer to pass through areas controlled by the FSA, of course. They helped us. So finally we arrived in the lands that are under the control of the FSA, but we were very exhausted. It had been a long trip.

We got on a bus and the driver helped us many times. At every checkpoint he stopped, he helped us. You just pay money, over and over again, to the government forces. The forces of Bashar al-Assad don’t care. Just give them money. You know the Daesh leader Baghdadi? If he wants to come to Syria and go to Damascus? No problem — just pay money. No problem — just pay money! It’s like Serbia, you know?

Ayman Jalwan, whose name has been changed to protect his identity, is a Syrian lawyer now living in Germany as a refugee. Interviews conducted by Claudine Weber-Hof.

This article was originally published by the Atlantic Council and is reprinted here with permission.

The views expressed in this article belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the editorial policy of News Deeply.

Top image: A building is seen with heavy damage in Aleppo, Syria. (Alexander Kots/Komsomolskaya Pravda via AP)

Become a Contributor.

Have a story idea? Interested in adding your voice to our growing community?

Learn more